Movies

‘Smurfs’ Still Exists, Adds Human Factor

By  · Published on July 28th, 2009

Un-Smurfing-Believable. Day 293 of Smurfwatch, and it appears as if the project still exists. I repeat, the news is that they are still making a Smurfs movie. They are not stopping. Ever.

The other news is that the fine folks over at Film Drunk have some casting information that sheds some light on how the movie will shape up character-wise. I’m not going to claim that the team over at Film Drunk went and actually auditioned, but I think we all know that’s the case. Good luck, guys!

The two characters being cast are described as follows:

SOPHIE: A pre-teen girl who possesses enormous smarts and great imagination, but who is socially and physically clumsy. She discovers that the doll her dad brought home from Belgium is actually a living, breathing Smurf. And not just any Smurf – CLUMSY Smurf! Sophie tries to get her mom and dad to embrace Clumsy as a member of the family, but ultimately realizes what he really wants is to reunite with his fellow Smurfs.

SAM: Sophie’s 15-year-old brother. He’s a good kid, but has a tendency to be difficult and withdrawn. He gets involved in helping Clumsy return home and, as a result, bonds with his sister.

A few pressing questions:

  1. How does someone not realize that they’ve bought a living being instead of a doll?
  2. How does someone NOT REALIZE THAT THEY’VE BOUGHT A LIVING BEING INSTEAD OF A DOLL?

I can only imagine that this is a hellish blend of Gremlins, The Water Horse and, for some reason, Shiloh. Ten points if you figure out that reference.

So I suppose the real response to this is – if you’re a pre-teen girl or teenage boy and want to save the Smurfs, go audition immediately. We’ll keep an eye out to make sure that this movie is still being made, and secretly crossing our fingers that someone wakes up from their year-long bender and realizes what they are releasing on the general public.

What do you think? Tra-la La-la-la La! La-la La-la-la!

Movie stuff at VanityFair, Thrillist, IndieWire, Film School Rejects, and The Broken Projector Podcast@brokenprojector | Writing short stories at Adventitious.