‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ Screenwriter Kelly Marcel Explains How Sex Works

By  · Published on December 9th, 2013

Fifty Shades of Grey? Sure, whatever.

I wouldn’t care at all about the mainstream NC-17 attempt if it weren’t for screenwriter Kelly Marcel. She’s undoubtedly a rising star, and it’s absolutely fascinating that she’ll end up with an S&M buffet on screen within a year of the story of Walt Disney getting Mary Poppins made. If you have to ask what the connection is, you aren’t ready to know.

But you might be ready to know about sex. That damned thing is going to be all over Fifty Shades of Grey. Wallowing in it. Thus, it’s lucky that Marcel can so thoroughly and accurately explain it (and it gives us a bit of insight into how she’s approached the element for the film).When asked by Scott Myers at Go Into the Story about how she approached the hot stuff, she had this to say:

“Well, it was quite difficult to write the sex stuff because I am a virgin, so I don’t know anything about what happens in the birds and bees department. Luckily some very nice people told me all about it. There’s some kissing and such and then someone sits on a rabbit or maybe it’s a duck, I don’t know but then you rub a bald man’s head and you either get pregnant or you get some flowers. So hopefully what I’ve written will ring true.”

Bring your own duck (or rabbit) to the theater with you.

To be honest, this article is a bit of a Trojan horse because, while her sarcasm and wit are appreciated, the interview itself is a fantastic microscope into a talented writer’s mind. I’m really writing this to get you to click through and read the whole thing. Cards on the table.

It’ll be of particular interest to those who plan on seeing Saving Mr. Banks this weekend (or next or the week after that). I’m just scared of the inevitable trailer mash-up. We don’t need to see Tom Hanks with a riding crop.

Movie stuff at VanityFair, Thrillist, IndieWire, Film School Rejects, and The Broken Projector [email protected] | Writing short stories at Adventitious.