Rob Ford Story to Be Told in Movie that’s Not Crack-Smoking Footage

By  · Published on February 10th, 2014

Everyone’s favorite Canadian party boy is getting his own movie. Yes, Never Say Never and Believe and that grainy footage of a Miami DUI arrest already exist. But you’re thinking of the wrong Canuck. Rob Ford, the red-faced, embattled Mayor of Toronto is getting his story adapted to the big screen – as if we’re not seeing it unfold right in front of us every day in sports jersey-ed, crack smoking slow motion.

Ford, whose greatest hits include falling over in the street more than once and telling a crowd of reporters on live TV (again, in public, on TV, this cannot be stressed enough) that he didn’t sexually harass an employee because he fully enjoys giving his wife cunnilingus at home, is no stranger to a little publicity. But after a Toronto Star journalist’s book about all the data she’s accumulated covering the man, his family and his shenanigans over his time in office was released just last week, a Toronto production company has snatched up the rights to the story just seven days later. Ford’s star is about to shine just a bit brighter.

“Crazy Town: The Rob Ford Story,” is Toronto Star reporter Robyn Doolittle’s extensive and in-depth look at Ford’s downward spiral – starting even before the mayor pretty nonchalantly admitting to smoking crack in a press conference. As it turns out, his problems pretty unsurprisingly started well before the surfacing of the crack video heard-of round the world.

Doolittle was one of three journalists who viewed the infamous “crack video,” in which Ford was seen smoking those pesky little drugs that have gotten him in so much trouble. As it turns out, she’s been working on a Ford investigation for over two years – “so much more than just a crack video and YouTube clips.”

Toronto-based Blue Ice Pictures has acquired both the film and television rights to her opus to their hometown mayor, meaning that while a film adaptation of the scandal is more likely, there’s still a chance that Crazy Town: The Rob Ford Miniseries could happen sometime in the near future. A prestigious and noble viewing experience that would be, no doubt.

The real question on everyone’s mind at this point is: who is going to play Ford? Yes, yes, Chris Farley would have been brilliant and perfect, but it’s not possible. There’s options, people. If we’re going the Saturday Night Live to big screen route, why not pull Bobby Moynihan off the benches since he’s doing such an impeccable job impersonating the man already and give him a shot at a full-length feature? He’s got the charisma and the manic energy to charge to the finish line. Of course, there’s always Jack Black to consider. Black has the chops to pull off heavier fare when needed, and the absolute prowess to deliver insanity the other 90 percent of the time. Naturally, he’s got the right look for the part as well.

Then again, don’t put it past Christian Bale to gain the weight for the role and surprise everyone with the role.

Who do you think should play Rob Ford?