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Bigger Than a Barn: The One Perfect Monster Bracket

Last year the One Perfect Shot team went in search of the One Perfect Binge. In 2021, we’ve built a bracket that will help us name cinema’s One Perfect Monster.
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By  · Published on March 25th, 2021

One Perfect Monster – Second Round Recap

As expected, the Second Round of our One Perfect Monster saw several highly competitive matchups. King Kong fought off a strong competitor in Cthulhu, the T-Rex outlasted Mr. Stay Puft, and Gamera continued to defy the odds, defeating The Rancor from Star Wars. None of this gets easier in the Third Round…


One Perfect Monster – The Final Eight

Below you will find arguments for every monster in each of the 4 matchups in the Third Round. Twitter polls will be added to this page as they go live.

🚨 Spoiler Warning: Even though all of these monsters appear in movies that are a year old or more, some of these descriptions and images might be considered spoilers. Please consider this your warning.


Matchup 1 – Godzilla vs. Gamera

One Perfect Monster Round Godzilla Vs Gamera

The case for Godzilla: Let’s be honest, this entire bracket is Godzilla vs. The Field. We’ve been told over and over again — since its massive frame first towered on the silver screen in 1954 — that this is the King of the Monsters. And we’re about to find out. Godzilla brings size, tenacity, and atomic breath to the table — plus more than six decades of experience stomping on building and punching other monsters. That’s an impressive resume, befitting some kind of King, but will it be enough to be King of This Bracket? We’ll know soon enough. (Neil Miller)

The case for Gamera: Could the One Perfect Monster be a giant turtle? I think it’s possible. Especially given the absolutely bonkers nature of Gamera’s story. From the troubled production of its debut film to the part of said film’s story where Japanese scientists try to lure the monster into a rocket and shoot it to Mars, Gamera doesn’t do anything the way you might expect. It’s a giant prehistoric turtle with tusks that was awakened by (you guessed it!) a nuclear explosion. It can also retract its limbs and head into its body and then spin around in its shell and fly like a flying saucer. So as long as no one tries to send it to Mars, I think Gamera has a fighting chance. (Neil Miller)

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Matchup 2 – T-Rex vs. The Balrog

One Perfect Monster Round Trex Vs Balrog

The case for T-Rex: The T. Rex from Steven Spielberg’s 1993 classic Jurassic Park is, frankly, a bad bitch. No fences can hold her and no pack of Velociraptors can defeat her. She fights back against the genetic tyranny of her maker John Hammond by picking off humans one by one and solidifies herself as the world’s scariest slasher villain. This is a monster on a mission for freedom and she will not be stopped. She may not be the biggest monster on the list, but she makes up for that with her sheer rage. This T. rex screams “women’s rights” while smashing her enemies with her massive tail and razor-sharp teeth. (Mary Beth McAndrews)

The case for The Balrog: What sends hoards of goblins running for cover? What felled Gandalf the Grey? That would be the creature that resides deep in the mines of Moria; a towering figure of ash and cinder known as Durin’s Bane, a corrupt Balrog of Morgoth. Fuelled by a fire fierce enough to light up the darkest pit, Durin’s Bane is magma incarnate. But make no mistake: this is not a physical being. This is shadow and flame. And it has a goddamn whip. Durin’s Bane is a volcanic nightmare imbued with furious purpose. Namely, and emphatically: to absolutely wreck any and all foolish enough to re-awaken it. (Meg Shields)

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Matchup 3 – King Kong vs. Mothra

One Perfect Monster Round Kong Vs Mothra

The case for King Kong: Humanity is a plague. We tear through this world, ripping whatever we want out of the ground, making meals from the animals that were here before us. King Kong was the first creature to bash against our ravenous greed. We went to Skull Island looking to make dollars from wonders, and we found Kong. He showed how awe comes with terror, and only when he tired from yanking limbs from slack-jawed city slickers did Carl Denham’s gang get the jump on him. He may have fallen from our tallest spire, but out of his sacrifice, hundreds upon hundreds of giant monsters rose. King Kong birthed a genre, and none of these other beasties on this bracket would be here without him. Attention must be paid. (Brad Gullickson)

The case for Mothra: Oh, Mothra, my winged queen. She only wants the best for the world and the people who worship her. In her 1961 premiere film, aptly named Mothra, she is not attacking humankind to bring about their destruction, but rather to save two young women stolen from their homes for the amusement of others. Essentially, Mothra is an anti-colonial and anti-capitalist creature who simply wants justice. What other monster on this list can claim such intentions? (Mary Beth McAndrews)

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Matchup 4 – King Ghidorah vs. Cloverfield

One Perfect Monster Round Ghidorah Vs Cloverfield

The case for King Ghidorah: Move over King Kong, King Ghidorah is Godzilla’s true arch-nemesis. This three-headed intergalactic dragon was introduced in Ghidorah, The Three-Headed Monster (1964). Born from a meteor, this is one of the few kaiju that couldn’t just be defeated by Godzilla. Instead, he has to call back-up from Mothra and Rodan. So, in monster-to-monster combat, no single creature in this bracket would stand a chance against such a beast. I mean, Ghidorah was given the title of “king” for a reason. (Mary Beth McAndrews)

The case for Cloverfield: New York City getting destroyed by a monster: tired. New York City getting destroyed by a baby monster captured via handheld camera: wired. Cloverfield (2007) made a monster to be remembered, particularly as it was the first one to be captured via found footage. But, importantly, this monster is merely a baby. In the film, it had just been born and its confusion about where it has awoken manifests in utter chaos: it topples skyscrapers as if they’re made of building blocks and rips off the head of Lady Liberty herself. Not to mention it sheds human-sized parasites whose bites cause their victims to explode. The monster as a newborn is about 300 feet tall, and that’s just when it’s walking on fours. Just imagine a full-grown, bipedal creature covered in nasty parasites. It would put any other mega monster to shame. (Mary Beth McAndrews)

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Read about the previous rounds starting on the next page.

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