Non-Alcoholic Beverage to be Adapted for Big Screen

Apparently Roy Rogers will be featured in three movies that exhibit the smooth-and-tumble nature of the old west despite the fact that he’s very dead.
By  · Published on June 15th, 2009

According to Variety, 821 Entertainment out of Nashville is working with the Roy Rogers Family Entertainment Corporation to bring the iconic drink – made by mixing cola and grenadine – all the way from the bar to the big screen.

Apparently the famously under-aged drink will be donning the White Cowboy hate and sing-a-long pants to star in a trilogy of films that can only be described as family adventure epics in the wild, wild west. Of course Rogers will be riding his trusty steed Trigger and singing “Happy Trails” through his straw.

I have no idea if they are going to do all of this through CGI or if it’s going to be a guy in a drink costume or if this joke has gone way too far. But can you blame me? The alternative was claiming that they were going to hoist a dead body up onto a stuffed horse to video tape it. That sounds more like a Thursday night at Reject HQ than a feature film production if you ask me. And thanks for asking.

So yes, someone had the bright idea to 1) foist a trilogy of films upon the masses that are so outdated that my grandmother would find them “too morally” and 2) would be forced to recast a very recognizable cultural icon. Now, instead of Roy Rogers bringing his cowboy cheer, it’ll be some actor playing Roy Rogers bringing his cowboy cheer?

If there’s ever been a more overt grab to capitalize on brand-recognition, this is it folks. Until we meet again…

What do you think?

Movie stuff at VanityFair, Thrillist, IndieWire, Film School Rejects, and The Broken Projector Podcast@brokenprojector | Writing short stories at Adventitious.