Memo to Hollywood: A Xenozoic Tales Movie Would Make All the Money

By  · Published on July 23rd, 2015

Universal Pictures

Have you heard how Jurassic World is now the third-highest-grossing movie of all time, worldwide (not adjusted for inflation)? That’s the best for a movie not directed by James Cameron (Avatar and Titanic are first and second, respectively). Very close behind is another recent movie, Furious 7. And both of these titles are Universal releases. Now, of course, everyone is wondering when we’ll see Jurassic World 2 (aka Jurassic Park 5) and Furious 8 (aka The Fast and the Furious 8). But what we really should be wondering is when we’ll see the crossover, The Jurassic and the Furious.

I wrote about this global box office achievement over at this week, and I proposed the union of the two franchises. That’s when a buddy of mine reminded me of the comic book “Xenozoic Tales” (aka Cadillacs and Dinosaurs, if you only saw the cartoon). Of course, this is exactly what a Jurassic World and Fast and Furious mashup would look like. So, Universal should swoop up the movie rights to the property, which was created in 1986 by Mark Schultz. The comic, which is about an auto mechanic living in a post-apocalyptic world ruled once again by prehistoric creatures, is basically Dominic Toretto vs. the T.rex.

If Universal doesn’t get on it, then any other studio will do. Any studio that would like to finally take over Cameron’s box office throne. Or, how about this: James Cameron should direct the thing and make all the moneys. Which he would share with you studio execs, of course. It sounds like a perfect scenario. But then again, anytime something sounds like a sure thing, especially when it’s a combination of two things that have worked, it usually fails miserably.

I’m not alone in seeing the obvious potential, though. Brian Switek at wrote a month ago, just after Jurassic World’s opening, that “Xenozoic Tales is the Epic Dinosaur Movie We Need,” pitching it as Jurassic World meets Mad Max: Fury Road. Also, a couple fans have made fake trailers for what a “Xenozoic Tales” movie would look like. Watch them below and tell us you wouldn’t go see the reality of what these mashups illustrate.

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Christopher Campbell began writing film criticism and covering film festivals for a zine called Read, back when a zine could actually get you Sundance press credentials. He's now a Senior Editor at FSR and the founding editor of our sister site Nonfics. He also regularly contributes to Fandango and Rotten Tomatoes and is the President of the Critics Choice Association's Documentary Branch.