Inevitable Unauthorized ‘Girls’ Walking Tour Cannot Possibly Be Real, Right?

By  · Published on June 6th, 2013

You guys wanna go on a walk?

Having drawn (incredibly poor, it has to be noted, though damn if Shoshanna isn’t like a new wave Charlotte) comparisons to Sex and the City since the day it premiered, it seems only inevitable that Lena Dunham’s HBO series Girls is now the subject (victim?) of its own “totally unauthorized and unofficial” walking tour in Greenpoint, Brooklyn. Yesterday, Dunham herself Instagrammed a picture of a flyer (you can see it after the break) touting the tour that was apparently heartily taped to some sort of utility pole, presumably somewhere in Brooklyn (where Dunham lives). She amusingly captioned the ‘gram “Sign me uppp!!!” We like you, Lena.

The tour’s flyer promises that you will accomplish the following during your tour of Greenpoint: “find out where Hannah whips up cappuccinos, tour the playgrounds of McGorlick Park, gawk at the exterior of an apartment building where Adam Driver’s character bench presses iron, discover where cast and crew have martinis after the last shot of the day (no pun intended!).” There are also notes about getting “insider tips” on how to make your own Tiny Furniture and a tempting offer for free Pabst Blue Ribbons.

There is no way this tour is real. To reiterate: this tour promises to take you to the outside of an apartment building and then get you drunk on cheap beer. They also promise that you’ll get to hold a Golden Globe for a souvenir photo, which raises the question: just where did these wily tour operators get a real Golden Globe? (Also, where do “Australian-speaking” tour operators get a real Golden Globe?)

Sex and the City spawned a rash of tours when it premiered back in 1998, some of which you can still pay good money to go on. The perennial favorite? The Sex and the City Bus Tour, run by Screen Tours. Clocking in at a mind-numbing three and a half hours, the bus tour only costs forty-six bucks, so at least there’s true bang for your buck here. That tour promises to take its patrons to place like “the site of Carrie and Big’s wedding rehearsal dinner,” “the Pleasure Chest where Charlotte buys her ‘Rabbit,’” the bar Steve and Aidan started, right into “the trendy neighborhood, MePa, where the girls frequent,” and even the bakery where the gals get their cupcakes (strangely, they don’t name the actual bakery, though everyone knows it’s Magnolia Bakery. Sadly, however, the tour price doesn’t include drinks, though Screen Tours notes that “tourgoers usually have the opportunity to purchase a Cosmo at a discount at one of the bars.”

One possibly discounted Cosmo? At least this faux-Girls tour actually offers up PBRs as part of its (still fake) tour cost. (We must also note that no one in New York City has ever called the Meatpacking District “MePa,” so we remain suspicious of just how true to life this tour actually is.)

Time Out New York actually put together their own Girls walking tour back in July, and it’s a far more classy affair than whatever this new tour is and, even better, you can just go and do it by yourself for free. The Guardian also complied their version of the walking tour earlier this year, albeit one more focused on the Brooklyn locales of the show. Yet that one sort of lost us when it termed the areas that the Girls girls frequent as “gritty” and peppered their own tour with places that Dunham and company could possibly frequent, not locations that have actually shown up in the series. Even that somewhat half-assed attempt is better than this, again, totally fake walking tour.

Did we reach out to the proprietors of the so-called tour via their lone point of contact? You bet we did. They didn’t respond – because as amusing as this walking tour might be, it still doesn’t exist.

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