2016: The Movie is the Horror Film of the Year…Literally

By  · Published on December 29th, 2016

Short of the Day

What if the past 12 months were a trailer? If only.

There’s a lot going around about how 2016 was just the worst year ever. While this is a touch melodramatic and not at all true – any year between 1939 and 1945 or really any before 1865 easily kicks the shit out of this one in terms of sheer trauma – it can be argued that this has been a doozy of a calendar spin, what with all the celebrity deaths, the social issues boiling over, and the election of a demagogue to the highest office in the land. At times, it truly seemed like we were living in some bizarre horror movie. At times, I truly wished we were. Movies end, at least.

But while our reality is a boulder slowly careening out of control down a mountain towards a dam built just a few miles upstream from the largest sick orphan and injured puppy colony in the world, we can still take the time to laugh at ourselves and our hyperbolic attitudes about 2016 via this amazing, hilarious, and brilliant fake trailer for 2016: The Movie.

Produced by Friend Dog Studios, what you have here is a recap of the year’s biggest “traumas” as though they were elements in a horror film and not, you know, actual goddamn headlines. I started laughing right around, “Guys…they shot a gorilla,” and still haven’t stopped. Another favorite exchange:

“England just left Europe.”


“Nobody knows they just…left.”

The music, the cuts, the pained expressions of confusion on the actors’ faces – this is the spot-on parody 2016 deserves and that we need to see to get back a little perspective. I hereby declare 2016: The Movie to be necessary viewing for all citizens, it is now a requirement if you’re going to enter 2017 with everybody else, cuz we don’t need this year or its bullshit attitude following us into January. New year, new slate. The craptacular roller coaster that is 2016 ends now. Or in a couple days. But metaphorically, now.

Related Topics: ,

Novelist, Screenwriter, Video Essayist